But there are few things I have wanted to know that the universe seems to be denying my thirst for knowledge. So, I thought, maybe I’m not asking clearly enough? And with that in mind, I have developed my Top 10 Questions for the universe.
1. Why is mom the only person who can find anything in a household even if she wasn’t the last person to use it?
2. Why is mom expected to keep a running inventory of every item ever used in a household so that no one ever runs out of anything? (What do you mean we’re out of toilet paper, AGAIN?)
3. Why is mom the only person who can turn laundry right-side out before putting it in the wash?
4. Why is mom the only person in a house who can refill the ice cube trays (Oh, but thanks for conveniently putting the tray right next to the sink! Sure makes it easier!)
5. Why is mom always the first to wake and the last to bed and the only one who ever hears the strange sounds in the middle of the night? (Things like burglars, kids puking and guinea pigs who haven’t been fed all week, etc.)
6. What part of No, Stop, Listen, Don’t and Quit is so hard to understand? I mean, No was the practically the first word most of you ever spoke?!
7. Why are tissues so scarce when you need them the most?
8. What really happens to all of those missing socks?
9. Why is everyone able to smell the litter box and make comments about how bad the litter box smells, but never able to actually change the litter box?
10. Why do the Tooth Fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny have to operate in the middle of the night when mom and dad could really use the rest? (On a side note: Why do all the toys have to come in ridiculous packages with stupidly hard ties and screws or four million parts to assemble?)
What questions would you like the universe to answer?