All this excitement and scrutiny of the Winter Olympics got me thinking – we conduct our own version of the Olympics on the farm. I had a little fun today creating a list of a few competition categories. See what you think.
1. Cross country water hauling – Haul five and ten gallon buckets full of water over five acres to provide nourishment for livestock and to water a garden during a drought. Must make a total of 53 trips from the faucet to the garden in one evening.
2. Feed Bag Lift – Carry 50 lb. feed bags over five acres to provide nourishment for livestock. Bonus Style points for hauling a bucket of water at the same time. Must complete in 90+ degree temps with 90% humidity and also in -30 degree wind chill with 10 inches of snow.
3. Livestock wrangling – Convince freedom-focused cows, pigs, chickens and goats to go back in their pens after they have managed a break out. Bonus Style points for also wrangling them into trailers bound for market.
4. Truck/Equipment Maneuverability – Free equipment and trucks from mud pits, sink holes, snow/ice and ditches when they become unmovable. Bonus Style points for doing so without falling down, cussing like a sailor or getting the equipment you are using to pull them stuck as well.
5. Poop shoveling – Remove large amounts of livestock dung, old feed and straw from pens, coops, lean tos and barns using only a pitchfork. Timed event.
6. Critter Killing – Use same pitch fork to kill live, angry possum/raccoon/snake. Timed event. Bonus Style points for not getting clawed, scratched or bitten.
So there you have it – The Farm Olympics. Team uniforms include overalls, tees and mud boots (hat optional) and the opening ceremonies would feature a tractor pull.
I know a few folks who could provide some real competition. I might even enter that Critter Killing category.