People say to me all the time, “You are the coolest mom.” While I appreciate the sentiment, it’s usually for those things that no mom ever wins an award for:
- Ice cream for dinner (Truth: I don’t wanna cook and they won’t eat leftovers. Oh, and it’s usually gluten free!)
- Science day at the children’s museum (Truth: None of us can sit through another math lesson without hair pulling and the renting of garments.)
- Four nights of dance classes a week (Truth: Hours of quiet writing or knitting time that I would never get otherwise.)
But probably only one thing that will keep me from ever winning a Mom of the Year Award is this.
I wish Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny would die.
It’s true. I can’t take another season of fake characters with hidden treats and goodies.
Money hidden under pillows – Mmphm! Secret presents under the tree – Bah Humbug! Specially decorated eggs hidden all over the yard – I’ve got chickens for that!
Seriously, it is time for them to be outed. I know that makes me a horrible mom, but I can’t take it. I never remember half the things I’m supposed to be hiding (or where I’ve hidden them if I did remember) and the stress of trying to is too much.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed using the old “Santa’s watching” routine and the happy faces on Christmas mornings. I have raided my fair share of chocolate and jelly beans (but not those Peeps – Blech!) And who doesn’t love a crisp $5 bill every once in a while? (Yes, we gave $5 per tooth. I know!)
But I am ready to move on. I want to find new ways to enjoy these holidays with my kids.
So please, if you’re listening Santa, Bunny and Fairy, please take this as a gift from the Bakers. Use the extra time to stop for a Starbucks on those long nights of jet setting.
Know that it’s not forever. I promise, we’ll anxiously wait for the day when we get to watch our grandchildren enjoy the magic.
A Former Mom of the Year Candidate