Step 1- Buy a steer-But not just any steer. You need to find one just a bit on the crazy side. Preferably, one that is willing to push through 9000 joules of electric on a regular basis. Oh, and barbed wire. Lots of barbed wire.
Step 2- Place the steer in a pasture with four of his kind. Make sure a couple are heifers (females) and will periodically go into heat. This will really drive him crazy.
Step 3 – On occasion, separate him from the other cows to be sure that he gets more feisty. (This can be done intentionally or accidentally when he decides to break free for a while. See #1.)
Step 4 – Hire a professional wrangler to chase him around and around in a vain attempt to load him onto a trailer to go somewhere he knows he doesn’t want to go.
Step 5 – Have a husband with bigger cojones than the steer (who isn’t supposed to have any, but may have one just for fun). Said husband should be wiling to risk his life on more than one occasion in a sheer test of wills to see who is meaner – hubs or the steer.
Step 6 – Let the showdown begin. Man against crazy steer. Who will win in this contest of freedom vs. determination?
Hallelujah for my husband who single-handedly, showed Kong who was boss by getting him locked and loaded in a trailer and hauled off for processing. We pick up our Kong steaks, roasts and assorted tasty treats this weekend, and we can’t wait!