I love hair bands


Just so we’re clear, I know it’s all my fault. This entire incident could have been avoided, but then I wouldn’t have this little gem to share. And what fun would that be?

Recently, I introduced the kids to Spotify (well, technically David did, but I helped them make their own playlists.)

Having an affinity both for crazy guitar solos and loud, booming, repetitive lyrics, I thought, “Man, they would love the 80’s hair bands!”

So, yeah, I introduced them to Motley Crue and Poison and White Snake. Dad added Van Halen and Billy Idol and Joe Satriani and Steve Vai to the mix.

It was a truly rockin’ playlist.

Little did I know that the boys were adding their own songs to the list. That is until we were at Target and from the next row over I hear Jack belting out, “Stroke Me” by Billy Squier. (Go ahead. Take a moment. I know it’s in your head now…)

I run around the end of the aisle yelling whoa there, not that song! He asks me what the big deal is at which point I have to explain that the song is about touching your private parts.

At first he looks surprised, then he looks over at Dylan, who says, “Well, it does feel good.”

Jack replies, in a very matter of fact way, “True, but I could see where it is inappropriate to sing in the store. Sorry mom.”

He then walks off singing “Crazy Train” by Ozzie. Whew, that’s better.


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